god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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