the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
