Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
