I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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