ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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