if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
