im gay
i know
yea but for you.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
