Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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