He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
