the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
