Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
