Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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