think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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