You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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