I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
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I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
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I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids