Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.

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  (650): I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now. http://tfl.nu/zi6o
  Replies (16) Good night (1375) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites

  (1-516): View more from New York

  Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?

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  (516): Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites (1-516): Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class? http://tfl.nu/4qhs
  Replies (23) Good night (3114) Bad night (424)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.

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  (910): that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time. http://tfl.nu/0332
  Replies (11) Good night (708) Bad night (3463) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once

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  (251): i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once http://tfl.nu/k6sm
  Replies (52) Good night (4760) Bad night (1085) Order T-Shirt
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.

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  (361): Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight. http://tfl.nu/rb6t
  Replies (93) Good night (6763) Bad night (2108) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications

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  (732): everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications http://tfl.nu/d1qr
  Replies (21) Good night (7271) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.

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  (650): We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag. http://tfl.nu/1x8m
  Replies (19) Good night (1292) Bad night (5138) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester

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  (405): just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester http://tfl.nu/cozs
  Replies (3) Good night (790) Bad night (2468) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.

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  (403): My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind. http://tfl.nu/y5d8
  Replies (15) Good night (3930) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.

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  (414): No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student. http://tfl.nu/q9kq
  Replies (9) Good night (2162) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.

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  (306): The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious. http://tfl.nu/pkyz
  Replies (32) Good night (1861) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.

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  (647): Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again. http://tfl.nu/40qc
  Replies (5) Good night (436) Bad night (1244) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.

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  (310): Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack. http://tfl.nu/hyp4
  Replies (7) Good night (526) Bad night (1272) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Shitshow foam night was such a success

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  (810): Shitshow foam night was such a success http://tfl.nu/ts7h
  Replies (3) Good night (1077) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.

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  (863): Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house. http://tfl.nu/4quh
  Replies (6) Good night (761) Bad night (277) Order T-Shirt

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