I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
