Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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