we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
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Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
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Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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