We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
