no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
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Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
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There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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