Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
