He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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