break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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