Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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