she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
