Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
