i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
