just come out here and I will go home with you...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
