whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize