Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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