she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
