My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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