He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
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