No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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