Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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