OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
