Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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