that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
