haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
