Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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