yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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