Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
