handjob tips. give me some.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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