probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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