So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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