Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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