Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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