don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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