Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
