A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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