i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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