I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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