i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
