I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
