..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??