Non-Jews are for practice
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.