who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
