last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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