Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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